


Confrontation and Comfort

by TheonSugden



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst and Humor, M/M, Self-Hatred, mild violence, what some might call a slur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 21:36:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4641036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheonSugden/pseuds/TheonSugden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam confronts Aaron about his affair with Robert.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confrontation and Comfort

**Author's Note:**

> This is set not long after the affair reveal.

Aaron couldn’t take any more of the Woolpack, or even walking around in the village - either people were looking at him like he was nothing, like he was just a sleazy slaggy fuckup, or they were scared to look at him at all thanks to the mean mug he had plastered on his face.

He finally got to the portacabin, hoping for some peace…maybe even spend the night in it, clear his head.

Then he saw Adam, sitting at the desk chair, giving him that exact same look he’d seen a dozen times today.

For some reason this one hurt a little more…but he wasn’t going to let Adam know that. He’d already taken enough shit from people he’d let down, people who only told him how much they cared about him when it was time to remind him of how stupid and selfish and dangerous he was.

He was about to walk out again when Adam spoke.

“I’m not gonna hit ya, Aaron.”

Aaron stopped, half-smirking as he took his hand off the doorknob.

“Dead right ya aren’t…” he muttered.

“I just wanna know one thing.”

Aaron flinched at the memory those innocent words produced, a memory of a blue jumper sliding over long lean arms, lush cherry red lips on his, desperate. desperate for him in a way no man had ever been.

“Alright,” he made himself say, knowing he owed Adam something in all this.

Adam blinked a few times, tongue-tied.

“Just say it, Adam,” Aaron pushed, knowing he could take whatever it was. 

“Fine! I-Is the reason why he gave us that money…the starter money…is it ‘cosa you and he…”

Aaron didn’t have to answer for Adam to see the truth.

“FUCK!” Adam shouted, pounding his fist on the desk hard enough to set Scrappy off outside.

“Was still a good plan, Adam,” Aaron said, knowing it wouldn’t make a difference, knowing it never would’ve to him in Adam’s place. “Still had enough confidence in us…”

Adam looked at him, contempt in his eyes. He said nothing. The longer he stared, picking at his nails like he wanted to tear one off, the more Aaron hated it, refused to feel bad for his actions.

“You were a mess when you were inside, Adam…”

Adam nodded, trying not to crack.

“Yeah, and well before I was inside. So what?”

Aaron laughed. 

“You don’t know all I did to try to get you money, try to stop your mam from cryin’ herself to sleep at night over you in that shithole, over you not havin’ anything when you got out, whether you’d go back to deals and drugs and…”

Adam rushed him then, doorknob pressed into Aaron’s lower back, lapels straining in a Barton death grip.

“Are you serious,” Adam squealed, dead eyes giving away his true feeling. “I know why you didn’t tell me…I get it. Vic. I’m your best mate…used to be, anyway, but I get it. Nothin’ stays the same. Know that better than most.”

Aaron was about to soften to him, drop the default snarl, when Adam shoved him against the door again.

“But don’t you EVER tell me you sucked his cock ‘cos I needed cash. Don’t put that on me.” 

Aaron snarled, wanted to take Adam out, the way he knew he could, the way he’d never done because he loved him so much. 

“Get yer hands  _off_  me,” he hissed, pushing Adam onto the floor, pointing at him as he sat up.

“Did he…did he make you, Aaron? ‘Cos if he did…”

Aaron burst out laughing, wiping his eyes as he did so.

“I  _sucked his cock_  ‘cos I  _liked_  it,” Aaron said, hard, head turned to the side. “Money for you…for us - just a bonus.” 

Adam tried to hide his disgust…not trying very hard. 

“Like when you tried to kiss me, Aaron? Forbidden fruit, right?”

Aaron couldn’t laugh anymore. He could barely get the words out.

“You were never forbidden fruit. You were everything I’d never been - all pure and good…”

Adam looked down, knowing he hadn’t been either of those things in a very long time.

“And Robert…he’s rotten…ripe and rotted away. Everything I’ve always been. Maybe worse.”

Far worse than Adam could ever imagine. 

He started crying again and he couldn’t stop, not even when he crumbled on the floor, felt Adam’s arms around him, lips on his forehead.

“C’mon, lad…don’t let ‘im do this to ya.”

He buried his head in Adam’s jumper, crying for Katie now, for her dying for nothing, crying for what a prize idiot he was, crying because even now he still…when he thought of Robert he still…

He couldn’t think anymore, didn’t want to think anymore. Adam was shushing him, lifting his head up to tell him it would be alright, everything would be alright. Adam smelled of hot July sweat and overpriced aftershave Cain had bought him and of some beach Aaron had never been to, would never be to, probably.

All he saw was Adam’s lips, just like that day in the car, only this time, it wasn’t love, or need for Adam to be his all…these days he and Adam barely even felt like mates. He wasn’t sure what Adam was now, but he knew Adam was here now, holding him.

He blamed the pints he’d swigged, but he knew it was just desperation, needing touch, tenderness, even if all he got back after, every day after, would be rejection or hate. Adam would hate him - so what. He made everybody hate him anyway. Only thing he was good at.

He kissed Adam, the way he’d have killed his whole family for in the car that night, the way he never did. This time he did, not caring about what Adam would do the second or minute or hour or day or year after. This would be enough. Just the touch.

Only this time Adam didn’t flinch, or pull away. 

He froze, but then he relaxed, letting Aaron kiss him, hands on Adam’s chest, mouth opening slightly to let Aaron taste him, the dinner and the beer and the dessert, the friendship and confusion and pity and pride in his best mate. 

Aaron finally pulled away, blushing, hating himself even more, planning a runner until Adam yanked the hem of his jumper and pulled him back down.

“I-I’m sorry,” Aaron got out, shaking.

“C’mon mate…” Adam replied, kissing the side of his head. “I ain’t a kid anymore. I’ve kissed blokes…and I know when somebody’s got the horn, and when somebody’s so down they need to get back up. S’all I did. You’ve done a lot more for me, more times’n I can count.”

Aaron nodded, relieved, smiling through the pure embarrassment.

“I really am a muppet sometimes.”

“More like all the time. You’re in good company.”

Aaron laughed, easing into a feeling of safety.

“Yeah. King Muppet beside me.” 

He swallowed, remembering it wasn’t just about them, hadn’t been in a long time.

“Better not tell Vic though…”

Adam cringed through a full-body grin. 

“No flippin’ way! She’ll kill me and make ya watch, then feed our scraps to ol’ Scrappers out there. Best meal he’ll ever have, I bet.”

They trailed off again, Aaron crouched in a ball, Adam watching him.

“Really mate…this worked out great.”

Aaron squinted.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” Adam continued. “I’m always the one that fucks up. This time…you fucked up _big style_. Almost like we’re even now.”

Aaron rolled his eyes, loosening up a little more.

“Oh yeah…least I knew how to fuck a girl and not get ‘er pregnant.”

Adam’s eyes went wide, pretending he’d been hit in the stomach.

“Ooh! Now I know you’re feelin’ better! Good thing ya did; otherwise I’d be stepdad to a sprog with that ugly mug.” 

Aaron laughed again, joining Adam in some echo until their sides began to ache.

When he got tired of laughing, Adam looked at the clock on the desk. 

Aaron knew they had to go, knew he had to go first, otherwise he might never go at all.

Adam helped him stand up, fixed his collar, held his face close.

“I been where you are, Aaron. That posh old cougar…she got me, made me think it was the best when it was the worst…worst thing I ever did…”

He left off the  _up to that point_ they both knew was hanging in the air.

“If Rob the Knob treats ya like that, I’ll be here to stop it. Promise.”

Aaron couldn’t tell him Robert wasn’t somebody he shagged for a thrill, somebody whose name he didn’t even remember, somebody who just went away. Robert would never go away. 

“I’m still fuckin’ pissed, Aaron, but I know I couldn’ta got this place started on me own…I know, even if I don’t show it, alright?”

“Yeah, fine,” Aaron replied, trying not to get too emotional again.

“Just promise me one thing.”

He turned serious then, enough to knot Aaron’s stomach.

“What?”

“When ya get to Andy…warn me first.”

The frown turned to one last dumb grin before he curved his arm around a cursing Aaron’s neck and walked them into the night.


End file.
